Christmas Cheer

If you had no other way to tell what time of year it was, you could nearly pinpoint the date simply by observing Springfield traffic. An alternative method would be to visit the mall or any of the large box stores in town. In either case, the most accurate determination of time would be to have established a reference point a few weeks ago, then make a more recent observation for comparison.

Traffic has thickened significantly, no debate about that. I have a forty mile commute to Springfield and pass a growing line of headlights each evening as I head home. No doubt they are the automobiles of Christmas shoppers making yet another trek to the city's shopping meccas because they still haven't found that one "wow" gift or because Aunt Mable FedEx'd something unexpected so they are obliged by the rules of return giving to find something that Aunt Mable needs even though she did not originally make the cut for the shopping list.

It's not so much the growth in traffic that indicates the season as it is the courtesy level of the drivers involved. Just today I saw someone stop short of an intersection to allow two cars to pull out - one going to the right, the other to the left. Neither driver as much as served up the flash of a palm to say "thanks." Instead they seemed to act as though they were merely collecting on a debt already owed. People are always shifting lanes, cutting others off or generally behaving rudely on the road, but this time of year sure heightens the activity. Lip read a few drivers today and you'll understand what I mean.

It's the same in stores. I used to be a Christmas Eve panic shopper, but have become one of those very organized types that has everything purchased and wrapped before the second week of December. I was in Target a few weeks ago and everyone was friendly. I was checking out the DVD's near the checkouts when a lady offered the unsolicited advice that the same movie cost $2 more at K-Mart and that Target had the best priced DVD around. Later, another lady waiting in the checkout line next to me asked about the merchandise I was holding and I sold her on buying the same thing (if you're reading this, Target, I'll take the standard 15% commission).

Today, it's not like that. I was in Target just a few days ago (not Christmas shopping) and it was like warfare. Wild eyed and frenzied, people bulldozed their carts into aisles without stopping, plowing ahead like tanks ignoring anyone in their paths. Few people spoke except to stammer out the next item on the list or argue about what color sweater to get for dear old Aunt Mable, whose dearness quotient had fallen off considerably since the FedEx guy was at your house. Shaken, battle-weary veterans of Christmas wars, they are. Unable to accept defeat, they push ahead with their mission, refusing to accept the inevitable purchase of Simon gift cards to close out their lists, and for which they will pay dearly with their time as they reach the gift card conclusion only after everyone else has done the same thing and they all find themselves waiting ... waiting ... in the same long checkout lines they have had to endure for days.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but shoppers take note. All this will grow worse before it gets better. The lines will get longer. The fuses will get shorter. The nervousness will grow. But the silver lining is that come Christmas morning, the only thing that will matter is the look on the faces of loved ones when the paper is torn away and the gift illuminates their smiles. It's too bad that it only takes about 15 minutes to tear open what it took about 3000 minutes to buy and wrap. But, chances are, we'll do it all over again next December.